Wow.....

Hello everyone and hopefully I am back to stay now.

Its been so long since i even logged onto LJ let alone posted anything on LJ.
I am now living near Gatwick Airport in UK and have passed all of my training for my new job

I am now British Airways Air Cabin Crew
I've done 2 flights now and have 2 more over the weekend, its been really scary but i'm slowly getting used to it.

Now i need to look at all my friends posts that i have missed over the last few months.

Love you all!!!!!
xxxxx
Sophie

finally back, and i'm sorry i have not been here.

i've moved back home now and things arent really any better.

my life needs sorting out, but i just don't know how to do it

the only thing that is good in my life. is my job... trainee manager at h&M... its going well. and having a good laugh at work too which is good

talk soon

its horrible. so i thought moving out would be great... but little did i know that i would be living with a girl that argues with her boyfriend 24/7 i come home from a stressful day at work today and guess what? yes they were argueing again. its not like they're quiet arguements either.. its loud; shouting, screaming, her pushing him down the stairs and out of the door, then she slams the doors.. and this is at 12:30 at night when i am trying to sleep because i'm exhasted.... she has no consideration for anyone else. i moved out of home to get away from all the arguements between me and my brother.. and me and my dad, and my brother and my parents...

i thought things would be great... but all i can think of is how long til i can move out of the flat and into the room at my other brothers house

i bet they'll be a massive arguement tomorow as well....

i just want to get out! but i cant... i'm tied to a contract

sooo... where have i been? it seems like so long since i updated.

a lot has changed for me recently;
i've moved out
i'm seeing someone as of yesturday, lol

life is ok for me at the moment. so thats good

although i am having problems with my room mate.... i'm scared of her basically. and as soon as 6 months is up.. i will be leaving that house. i can't live my life being scared of this girl. but i'n in a contract so i cant just leave. May is when my contract finishes.....

my job is pretty good. this month i will find out when i start my training to be a manager at H&M... my dream job!! cant wait. its already been 6 months that i have been working there, and i still love it!

Bye
Sophie xx <3

well i've missed you all i've been moving out of home, so i now live with a couple of mates, its going well

i havent had internet for ages it seems i'm happy to be back though

hope everyone is well!! i'd love to hear from you all....... missed everyone like mad!! <3 **

why the fuck am i alive? whats the point i have no friends. everyone just seems to be ignoring me. my family make me stay in my room so i cant spend any time with them and my brother gets his own way all the time.

why am i even alive?

ok so i havent been around for a bit, but i am back!

and i need some loving from my friends! please

i've been working really hard recently, so much strain,stress and being tired too

i just need a bit of a break.
spent 2 hours at the gym, which was ok, but tiring, amd working tomorow and am going uot tonight to a little club called Unit 22 should be fun

talk to you all later! please gimmie some comments. much love need to make me feel less sh*t

thanks, love you all

just updated the community......
shared with my friend alexa

http://community.livejournal.com/alexa_sophie

MKA icons ....MKA <3

hey i've not updated for a while

i hve lost some more weight which i am really pleased about.... i'm now 128lbs.

work is ok at the moment, although today one of the managers was really not nice. but its such a long story, not even worth telling.

i will update later this week with some new icons and graphics

peace and love!
Sophie! xxx

ok.... so this is a new entry and hopefully a new me..

thanks to jane i am trying to change my life around.... what i have to do is forget about previous forums/enemies.... because they just arent worth it.

so at the moment i have a good boyfriend and good job and a few good friends. so i gotta treasure that and i am also trying to make my life happier.

i'm also trying to learn from all of my mistakes.

i would just like to thank some people for thier help and support....
you guys know who you are!

THIS IS THE NEW ME!!

Wow what do i start with?

ok... heres my check list on things to tell you

1)Job
2)Love life
3)How i'm feeling
4)the Weather
5)Day at a Themepark yesturday
6) my Mental health

1) JOB: So I started my new job last tuesday. and the people there weren't very friendy. a lot of them were ignoring me etc...... so now a week on i am a little more settled in. but i know now that this isnt going to be a permanent job for me, probobly just for the summer because its pretty good money.
i work with this girl called liz. and she is the most annoying humanbeing i have ever met.
and everyone else at work thinks the same as me: liz always moans about everything. she serves customers really badly like throwing thier change at then instead of giving it to them in they're hand.... my god she annoys me so much but the fact is that hes been there for 5 years. so i told my managwer and shes like, liz is a very valued member of staff, blah blah blah..... i was jsut like *jaw drops*
when i was trying to help liz with some jobs. i'd suggest a few things and she would just shoot me down about EVERYTHING i said.
then i did some merchandising and she came along and completely demolished everything i had done for that last hour.

but i think other than that, i am settling in a little bit better now, i have today off which is nice. but i need to go to the gym today

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LOVELIFE: ok so i have a new boyfriend
his names Wayne he's 19 and we have so much in common its achually kind of scary. if i told you everything then the list would be soooo long
he's really nice he keeps telling me how beautiful i am and stuff and i'm really not used to that. so i feel special atm
We went to see the break-up with Jen aniston in it for our first date... and he held my hand... again i'm not used to this so i felt really nice

i'm seeing Wayne tonight i think we're goin to get a movie to watch at his house. quiet night in.

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HOW I'M FEELING: better than before. but yesturday i had like the biggest meal ever at a themepark and i just felt horrible after that....i'm desperatly trying get back into my diet routine but its just so hard with the new job, but i know what i have to do, its just a case of achually doing it.

-------------------------------------------

THE WEATHER: wow so much weather changing recently. so its been thundering and lightning a lot recently and its also been so totally hot.. i just cant keep up with it all. i hate thunder and lightning. i get so scared. but at least its nice when its warm during the day. we have to make the most of it all because soon all the hot weather will be gone and we'll have to put up with the cold and rain and not nice weather.

-----------------------------------------

DAY AT THE THEMEPARK: so yesurday we went to thorpe park, it was so much fun the weather was nice and warm and i have a lot of sunburn but i only have sun burn in the places that i achually put lotion on... weird!

we went on so many rides we went on Nemesis rollercoaster 3 times... we loved it. i went with my friend hannah and claire and claires boyfriend. which was really cool. i'm so tired now though because i had to do all the driving yesturday... 3 hours there 3 hours back to drop everyone home and then i had to drive an extra 40 mins to get me home so today i am resting.

------------------------------------------------

my friend holly has told me about her shrink that she goes to... and she gave me some advice that i should go to my regular doctor because he can refer me to people, and i might even be able to get it free because i'm under 19 years old which will be really good. so i think i will make an appointment with him.

___________________________

well that was a long LJ entry...... sorry it was so long.
at least its updated now

Bye for now
xxx Soph

so tomorow i start my new job at H&M i will post tomorow night if i am not too tired. i am excited but apprehensive.

i have picked out my outfit.

but i need to fit in my time at the gym in with my new job, and i need to remember to not eat too much at lunch and break times.
i might buy a book so instead of eating at break times and lunch i can just read instead.

i'm still trying to stick to my 1 meal per day, and still do sit ups in the evening and morning and do some exercise thruoghout the day. i just treally need to stick to it, i lost 8lbs last week so i would like to loose some more this week

... so my arm still really hurts, i have no idea what it is that is making it hurt.. or what made it hurt in the first place
i think i might take myself to a doctor tomorow

the diet still continues.. i went to pilates last nite for the first time. it was good,
and now i just got back from the gym, i did 8 mins on the running machine, 20 mins on the eliptical trainer and 5 mins on the bike so i am pleased. i've had 2 carrots and one apple today so far and its nearly 5:30pm.... so i am pleased the hunger stage has passed now

ttyl!!

i'm now down to 137lbs so i'm pleased.... but today i started my strict diet.... hopefully its going to work

i have pilates class tonight. its all going good..... so far
ttyl

ok so its not so much but i have lost 3 pounds recently, i was 141lbs now i'm 138lbs.. slowly getting there, i know i will never be 100lbs but i can always hope.

just trying to get all my anger out. the only thing that is going right at the moment is my job... well sorta, i start my new job on the 18th of July, but people at my current job are just phasing me out now... seems weird seeing as i have worked there for so long,

ughh i cant wait to get out of there.

i'm trying to save up for some good pills to take to get rid of all this weight, i need to look good as soon as possible. i dont know what my ideal weight would be.... just anything less that what i am now

ok so this is my time. at the beginning of the week i was so happy, with a new job in place and i had a good boyfriend.

now by the end of the week, i still have a wonderful job in place, but my boyfriend is just ignoring my messages and just not talking... ask him what i have done wrong and he just disappears.

what is wrong with me and why do i always get the worst guys?

i'm at a bad place in my life, and at the moment i need people around me who are going to help me, not bring me down further. i have never felt so low and so depressed. why isnt there a good guy out there for me?

my time to cry!

YAY, just had my second interview today, and i now work at H&M in tyhe center of my town.. its one of the biggest stores in the country, i am so happy, i now work full time and earn.... A LOT per month! so i'm so happy!

i start on the 18th of july

wish me luck for then

xxx

ahh! i have my job interview for H&M tomorow, i sooo hope i get it, because it pays loads and it has great oppurtunities to progress. i have no idea what to wear, i need to wear something casual but smart, ahhh!

i'm so scared, but i will post when i find out if i have got the job

please everyone keep your fingers crossed for me please!

xxx
over and out!

life is pretty crap still but i have an interview for H&M on monday i so hope i get it.... my pay will go from 300 at the moment to 900 per month, then i can finaly save up for a Canon 350D, and a laptop and money to go to US

from Yevgeniya's LJ ___ Jane948

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i'm sorry to all of my friends!

i have been a horrible cfriend recentl;y. life is so hectic at the moment. and i'm sorry for not commenting on anyones LJ's

hopefully i will be able to catch up soon, when life calms down a little